Bizzy Bee …

July 28, 2011 § Leave a comment

I am all abuzz … flower essences and johrei and tendai buddhism and te-ate … all coming at me … and with all these hits!! …

i am going to read and let it sink in.

did you think i was going to tell you abou it all? … heh. yes. … later.




Nourishing Wish … so mote it be

July 27, 2011 § 5 Comments

Jamie Ridler Studios: Wish Casting Wednesday: What Do You Wish To Nourish?

that’s easy …


“As you begin to understand the immense power and love you hold inside, you will find an unending surge of joy, light and love that will nourish and support you all the days of your life.” ~ Susan Jeffers



As you wish for yourself, I shall wish for you also.

past inside present

July 26, 2011 § Leave a comment

Manipulation. Being Manipulated. Manipulating. … form, shape wield [!], form, manage, conduct, control, ‘play games” [oooh. that’s a trigger!], up stage, and …  influence!

A word and concept that has been in my face for awhile. Sometimes painfully so as I have seen it in myself.

Today came these beautiful words …

” Make peace and heal your past … and the more you can make peace and can heal your past, the more transcendent and wonderful and exciting the present will be. … When we get muddy in the present … it’s really a sign that the past is really the present. It has nothing to do with the present moment … it’s not about them, [or the situation – ged!] it’s about the past.” ~ Bindu Wiles

 I have been painfully seeing for a while lately where and how other people manipulate emotions and situations …

… I have seen it in myself as well … and … I want to take this moment to take responsibility for my actions and also express my sorrow if it [when it] caused anyone upset.

I still find history … yours, mine, the world’s … interesting. I have always found it fascinating to look into history …  but one must never to live there or allow it to become ‘now’.

It takes, and is a, practice.

Antonym for ‘manipulation’ via … ‘leave it alone’.

And there you have it.




I primped for no one else but me

July 21, 2011 § 2 Comments

“… if I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with! Is that right?”

Dorothy, The Wizard of Oz


It’s been an odd week. Reiki and reiki thoughts and reiki learning [But you are a Master? … Yes. And always Always learning :] and then there has been this …


A couple weeks ago being faced with some emotional ‘hits’ from others and me finally becoming fed up with it [I mean. Really? What took you so long??] I turned to Susan Piver and the Loving Kindness meditations from her that I had on my iPod. In this manner, I decided that the best way to ground myself and ‘sheild’ myself from others, was to reside in my heart .

It occurred to me that we can feel ourselves connected to the earth [the material Now] and therefore get a sense of our grounding … but that true Personal Grounding comes within/from the heart [there is also what I refer to as ‘Universal Grounding’, grounding to the Cosmos/Collective,  but I have not found the words to explain this yet.] … and the best means I know how to do this is through meditation. So, I pursued and …

was ‘caught’

Caught in my own arms to be precise. I practiced. I am saying ‘no’ when the suggestion does not suit me. I am feeling others but not melding with them so much [this will always be a challenge and weak spot tho] so I am now able to hear what it is that is me and what it is that I want. Loving Kindness starts with the ‘I/Me’ and then ripples out to others one by one then to the world [and cosmos] inclusively. I am the object that begins the process. The pebble. I. Me.

I Am That


For a few years I have wanted to marry myself but obviously have been shying away from the commitment to my Self.  I feel Like Dorothy in her red slippers. I’ve had the power to return Home all along … <3

And with that realisation … the engagement happily begins.

She asked me to marry her. My self, she did


and I

and I said

Yes. Yes. Oh … Yes





July 20, 2011 § 14 Comments

Wishcasting Wednesday with Jamie Ridler Studios  : What do you wish to TRY? 


First thought: self-sufficiency

Second thought: autonomy

Indulge me a moment [from Wikipedia] Autonomy (Ancient Greek: αὐτονομία autonomia from αὐτόνομος autonomos from αὐτο- auto- “self” + νόμος nomos, “law” “one who gives oneself their own law“) is a concept found in moralpolitical, and bioethical philosophy. Within these contexts, it refers to the capacity of a rational individual to make an informed, un-coerced decision. In moral and political philosophy, autonomy is often used as the basis for determining moral responsibility for one’s actions. One of the best known philosophical theories of autonomy was developed by Kant. In medicine, respect for the autonomy of patients is an important goal of deontology, though it can conflict with a competing ethical principle, namely beneficence. Autonomy is also used to refer to the self-government of the people.

Are you with me so far? Now I need to add this: [Wikipedia/autonomy/politics]: “In the past few decades, a large movement of autonomism has emerged in the form of anarchism. …  autonomy refers to one’s own self-governance.” 

And lastly: [Wikipedia/autonomy/philosophy]: ” The word autonomy has several meanings in a philosophical context. In ethics, autonomy refers to a person’s capacity for self-determination in the context of moral choices. Kant argued that autonomy is demonstrated by a person who decides on a course of action out of respect for moral duty. That is, an autonomous person acts morally solely for the sake of doing “good”, independently of other incentives. In his Groundwork of the Metaphysic of Morals, Kant applied this concept to create a definition of personhood. He suggested that such compliance with moral law creates the essence of human dignity. In metaphysical philosophy, the concept of autonomy is referenced in discussions about free will, fatalism, determinism, and agency.”

I wish to try autonmomy …  freedom, liberty, self-determination, self-government, self-rule, sovereignty … like a cat … but with thumbs  ;]

Once tried, I may find I really like it … so be forewarned! LOL!

It goes a long with last week and asking for space … at 51 and in menopause [finally! think i’m really done!!] I am feeling the strong need to fulfill my own desires, to listen to Me. Not to walk the path completely alone. No … but to walk it as an individual not a group.

As you wish for yourself, I shall wish for you also.




Space … the final frontier

July 13, 2011 § 12 Comments

Wishcasting Wednesday with Jamie Ridler Studios: What do you wish to ask for?


space to breath. space to move. space to understand me.

so! i have been learning how and when to say ‘no’ [and it’s simply amazing how much space that alone creates]

i have often felt >>squeezed<< into this body and on this earth and then in not managing the empathy i feel … excuse me, that needs to be FEEL … very well resulting in a sick merging and not knowing what were my emotions and wishes or what were the other’s

c’mon. let’s face it … it got really crowded in me

slowly … as this lotus blossoms petal by soft numinous petal … i have craved space

thinking it is material space i felt the need to push people away in order to find the enigma of Me


practicing loving kindness in meditation where metta comes to self first and then spreads outward <3  it’s amazing how much space there is when one is centered in one’s heart.

i ask for space and it is delivered [and i am eternally grateful]





July 12, 2011 § Leave a comment

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