you can’t un-know when you know

August 22, 2011 § Leave a comment

“We would like you to reach the place where you’re not willing to listen to people criticize one another… where you take no satisfaction from somebody being wrong… where it matters to you so much that you feel good, that you are only willing to think positive things about people…you are only willing to look for positive aspects; you are only willing to look for solutions, and you are not willing to beat the drum of all of the problems of the world.” ~ Abraham

feeling so … stressed. noise. noise … everything feels like sandpaper against my skin and … INSIDE my skin.
restless legs

but my whole body.

tired. so. tired.

weary really.

i want to be in my still waters or, rather, sitting next to them and gazing [scrying?] into them but people keep cannonballing into my space … my waters.

i am trying very hard to regain my calm space regardless … but everything just hurts.

 i AM working …

working SO hard. so. hard.

i feel as if i have no real home … and i realise that home is within me … home is me … and i don’t even feel safe or like i belong in here either …

it hurts. not knowing … feeling … home.

and i need to recharge and i am unknowing where to go to do that since within does not feel ‘safe’ at all either …

” …Wrapped in silent elegance … Beautifully broken down …As illusions burst … “

i know exactly where to find this place of elegance … but it’s not available to me here and now and i do not know how to duplicate it without my other … i don’t think i could nor would i want to …

i AM a home
and i know this!
… something is being set adrift and it seems it’s time to decide whether i watch it go or rein it back in

but i am thinking i know which is which
as i sit here by my pond
still and deep
and watch it drift without moving an inch

<3

gayle

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