something new and blue

February 6, 2012 § 8 Comments

It’s time I came out, as it were. And time for things to change.

On November 22nd, 2011, I signed myself onto a locked psych ward . I wanted to kill myself. But more than than that, I was thinking that burning my house down with me and my family inside would solve all my problems … and this scared me. Killing myself felt like a blessing, but my house. My family! No matter how that voice pushed at me, I knew is was wrong and I was in trouble.

With the help of a life long friend, we drove to the hospital and a crisis counselor and psychiatrist screening later, I was signing the papers that would commit me to a locked psychiatric ward … but more than that … a safe place where I could begin to heal.

This was one of the most humbling experiences of my life. And starting with the crisis couselor, to the psychiatrist and then the nurses on the ward I encountered … they all reiterated that it was my turn [as a healer] to be healed and to allow it.

Allow I did. … and still do.

Starting here and now, I will recount and chronicle what happened, how it started and how it continues and how I have healed and am healing still.

I am open to comments, questions and listening to your own stories. I have nothing to hide and the discussion and witnessing starts here.

ged <3


Tagged: ,

§ 8 Responses to something new and blue

  • Kim says:

    Gayle! What an important step! Sharing your story will create a ripple effect I am sure.. thus, you will help millions like me, heal in turn!

    I am going to follow your story like a follow mine.. with love and light and everything else in between.


  • Kim says:

    Reblogged this on Northward Bound and commented:
    I think it is important that I “reblog” this! It is such an important story to tell.. Please support my friend in her quest for healing.

  • Keri says:

    I would love to help heal you along your journey. Anytime.

    • reikiflower says:

      i may take you up on that … i am challenged at the moment with my self practice and meditation but i think that’s more the meds which the psychiatrist changed today. have to tell you though, as the ‘wounded healer’ archetype kicking in i have come to a deeply unique understanding of anxiety, depression and a few other mental illnesses. i see a specialization unfolding.
      i will be in touch! ;] with blessing and thanks,
      <3 g!

  • Keri says:

    Reblogged this on As You Wish and commented:
    Because even we healers need to remember to ask for help.

  • beverly penn says:

    I think it’s incredibly brave that you had the strength to take that step and check yourself in. Realize and remember that it’s not a sign of weakness but courage.

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