September 15, 2012 § Leave a comment

“Your hands are tied in action, but your hands are not tied in imagination — and everything springs forth from the imagination. Everything.”

Abraham

[art credit:eugenie oh]

this morning [well, something that was discussed last week with my student about fingertips] while i was cleaning the stones from the cat’s water dish [if you really want to know, ask in the comments. i’ll explain ;] i became fully aware of just how sensitive my fingertips are and how i rely on them to send me messages of all sorts.

while cleaning the stones, it was all by feel.

i could literally close my eyes and ‘see’ what i was doing.

thru touch

in the past, i think of this as being something that has always just been a part of me. not something i was actually aware of but just … was.

taking it for granted

after the conversation last weekend, i became more mindful and aware of how my fingers [really. fingers and finger TIPS] feel things and “see” and “know” certain things. very sensitive. very. it really is the finger from that first knuckle bend on up, but especially the upper pads and tips.

hence my very short nails.

i find long nails disconcerting on me [i can grow them. have grown them. even done tips … they are usually gone in a week]

and there is a tremendous amount of strength in them as well.

i could do a good shiatsu or reflexology massage, i bet.

something to think about.

so … anyway

as i prepare to attune my first real student [we all are learning from each other. we are all teacher/student in every which way and i mentor many in my knowledge of energy work and intuition and spirit. but haven’t in a “formal” way. until now.] i am mindful at how the energy flows not only through the body and into the hands as the vehicle to distribution, but also how the finger tips feel

at least for me

like there is a galaxy of stars just waiting to burst forth

something to impart in my teaching

sit with these sensations and really get to know them

know thyself

and

how YOU work

~

stay in touch

<3

g

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i am an extrovert who needs deep introverted time to recharge …

September 12, 2012 § Leave a comment

feeling overwhelmed … i need to take a step back but i am not sure what from. hothot shower this morning and man, i wanted to just cry [what is it about showers and crying?] but … i’m just at the edge and they don’t want to come.
this morning was very difficult getting up. i sat with my hands over my eyes [actually a very comforting reiki position. the warmth on the eyes helps the mind relax] wondering what reason … what keeps me getting out of bed?

it is a sense of duty. and that’s not a bad thing. it connects to the reiki precept of doing one’s ‘work’ with diligence and steadfastness. i have responsibilities to others. people who depend on me to show up …

but more than that, it is a duty to myself. a commitment to life and living and healing. i made that contract sitting on my bed the first morning on the psych ward. i WILL get up. i WILL have breakfast, get dressed. i WILL participate to the best of my ability. i WILL survive and thrive again.

that sense of will and duty to myself. … but some days … some days …  and today is one.

Kismet has been waking me early [say, around 5am] for booty calls and soft cuddles. on the one hand, this attention is something i crave and most welcome. on the other, it is disturbing my already restless sleep and my thoughts find it hard to be still fresh from waking but still on the edge of sleep.

it’s that twilight state where things are amorphous … neither here nor there and mold-able and slippery. this is the foot wringing part of my day where the aches from a tense body present themselves and the thoughts swirl like galaxies within  …

i concentrate on kismet’s purring and soft warm body and at some point i find a peaceful spot to rest until i actually need to get up.

Image

[A traveller puts his head under the edge of the firmament in the original (1888) printing of the Flammarion engraving.]

~~

this morning i find myself also dreading the next step in withdrawal … and i know i am getting ahead of myself … and i know i am actually SENDING fear into the future situation … this is something that will need vigilance to circumvent.

~~

and the day moves forward

stay in touch

<3

g

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